noun: a small piece or amount of something, esp. one that is left over after the greater part has been used.
synonyms: noun: fragment - piece - bit - shred

Sunday, December 29, 2013

Hammin' It Up...

Hello, Happy Sunday and Welcome back to the Farm!!!!  I know, I know, it's been two months since I've been here.  Believe me, there ARE reasons.  Notice the plural there?  Mhm, if anyone can have reasons in the plural to not keep up with her blog, it would be me.  So many issues, so little patience.  Isn't that how the saying goes? And, since I've been gone a while, I do believe I owe you an explanationS.  That wasn't a typo peeps; that was a plural explanation with a capital S.  LOL!  Oh gosh, where to begin...

Let's see, the weekend after my last blog post, I and my seester-in-law, Christi, went on a little weekend road trip to visit with our other seester-in-law, Tori (whom you have seen pics of in my Take Me Out to the Thrift Store post).  Although I had every intention of posting when I got back, I sort of took a wrong turn and didn't get home until very late.  -Sigh- 

The next weekend I was going to post and couldn't because my camera was STILL at my daughter's house (in another town) on top of her refrigerator.  Seriously, sometimes I could just bip Mr. Scrappin upside the head.  Who in the heck puts a camera on top of someone's fridge (did I put this on another post before - it sounds a little deja vu to me) when it should stay in my bag WHERE I HAD IT!!!  So yes, all of my projects to that date were on the camera.  -Sigh-

Weekend after that?  Veteran's Day weekend, which I ALWAYS like to post about, but didn't get to.  While I took Thursday and Friday off the week before so that I could lengthen the three day weekend that I was visiting my daughter, I didn't get to post because the stinkin' vertigo came rearing it's ugly head and left me just about decapitated (or incapacitated, whichever).  I had gone down that Thursday to help her paint her living room, make curtains to add some cuteness to her windows, make some really super cool crafty stuffs to decorate with and I can't even remember what else.  Believe me, she had a list.  A BIG LIST.  After treating ourselves to Tiki Teriyaki, a place I cannot leave behind when I'm visiting there, we decided to go shopping for the fabric to make the curtains.  Somehow we ended up with the fabric and nine pillows.  Interesting.  The next day, she took off from work and we painted her living room.  A lot.  And when I say a lot, it's because the paint color was much lighter than we believed by looking at the chip AND the paint splotch on the top of the bucket, so we painted over the same spots about a million times because we couldn't see where we'd already painted.  For cryin' out loud in the dark!  It wouldn't have been so bad, but since we didn't have the curtains on the windows and because of the position of her windows, the light almost completely canceled out the ability to see where we had put the paint.  After several laughing fits, Sarah sat on the floor and pronounced in the voice she used to use as a little girl that she HATED painting. I see.  We did prevail and it looked so darn cute.  Now for the trim.  And by trim, I mean the baseboard, the windows, and the freakin' door that has about a thousand windows in it (well, actually only about 16, but it felt like a thousand - ask me, I painted it).  I THOUGHT that I had taken some really great photos because I really wanted to blog what we had done, but I was wrong.  And then...the next day...the vertigo set in and that was it for me.  Crapola.  I seriously hate vertigo.  I suffer from it pretty consistently, but most of the time it's pretty manageable.  Not this time. But, I digress, and her living room turned out so darn cute!  I'm proud of us!  And just why did we do all this, you ask?  Because Sarah had just purchased her very own, not borrowed or been given to, not hand me down, but her very own first set of furniture that she got to go out and buy on her own.  Great explanation, huh?  So of course she had to have cuteness to put that new furniture in.  I completely agreed. Except that I was going back down for Thanksgiving and she wanted to know if we could do the kitchen then.  -Sigh-

Oh wait, I forgot the most important part...while I was down visiting my paint hating daughter, apparently something happened to our water here at the farm.  As in there was no water.  Anywhere, at all, for anything.  No showering, no washing dishes, etc.  Greatttttttt.  Now, being a city girl through and through, I did not take this news in the same calm fashion as Mr. Scrappin when he informed me of this little "issue" as he called it.  I freaked.  He assured me it would be fixed the next day. Which it was.  EXCEPT, it wasn't.  It worked for a little while and then blurped out again.  Hmmm.  Mr. Scrappin replaced the breaker to the well pump and good as new.  EXCEPT, it wasn't.  As I was coming into the house after being gone all weekend, he once more ran out of water.  Ok, now I'm totally freaking.  I'm weak and I admit it.  I like my luxuries.  Water, power, food: I like them.  So, the next day as I'm at the doctor's office, hubby informs me that he had finally found the real source of the problem.  A FREAKING GOPHER ATE THROUGH THE WATER LINE. Seriously?  And then...a really super cool power surge went right through the house and completely fried my computer.  As in dead, kaput, finito, obsoletion to the max. Unfixable.  FREAKING GOPHER NEEDS TO DIEEEEEEE!  -Sigh-

So after that, my excuse is that I had not only illness going on, but no computer.  Oh, I had my laptop that my daughter had given to me earlier this year but no wireless access at home to use it.  No email, no posting, no checking out my fave blogs or even Pinterest.  NOOOOOOOOOO!  What kind of life is this?  Good grief, I don't know which will kill me first, being sick for so long or no pinning!  I cannot take this! So, I ordered a wireless router, which I had hoped would solve the problem.  Uh, no. Some IDIOT in our house (and let me just say that it WAS NOT Mr. Scrappin) couldn't get it to work. Although I followed every direction given, the connection just would not come.  Frustration set in and I just gave up.  Tried again in a couple of days and the same result.  Hmmmmm.  Everyone I called said the same thing, which was exactly what I had done.  And I was getting ready to box the stupid router back up, I found a separate plug in on my desk and couldn't figure out what it went to.  It wasn't in the box of the router so I looked and looked to try and figure out where it went.  Well, it went to the router, silly!  It obviously WAS in the box, but apparently came out attached to something so I didn't see it.  Yay, I fixed it. EXCEPT, it wasn't.  It worked that night and the next morning and then...nothing. What the stinkin' heck?  Seriously, have I not suffered enough over the last weeks? So I undid everything and tried again the next day.  AND WE ARE NOW IN BUSINESS PEEPS!  OH MY HELL, DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE THIS DIFFICULT? -Sigh-

After scoring, into the crock pot, on low.
So, fast forward to my Christmas projects that I thought I'd share, but won't because I didn't do them.  Yeah, you guessed it.  Still sick.  And sick of being sick. Nor did I get to go visit my kids at Christmas like I had planned. Grrr. Tried for this weekend but that didn't work out so well considering that I finally went back to work Thursday and ended up going home after only half a day Friday.  REALLY?  I felt so much  better on Thursday.  Not so lucky the next day.  And yes, I'm still sick today. I'm pretty sure I should get a prize for this!  I will attempt to go back to work tomorrow and IT HAD BETTER LAST!  -Sigh-

And we are today, where I decided that I was going to do a blog post it if killed me...and it just may.  In the event that you never hear from me again, please remember I love you all.  :)  Seriously, I think these meds are finally going to be the ones that work, but I'll admit I'm getting a little more than frustrated at this point. So...without further ado, here is my post for today...ham.  Yes, that's right, I said ham.

The glaze will foam up due to the cola content, but this will
not hurt anything.  Underneath the foam is a nice, caramel
colored bowl of beauty.
Why ham, you ask?  Well, because we didn't really get to have a holiday dinner and it just seemed like we needed one today.  Hubby had to work Christmas night and will have to work New Year's so today was a good day to do it. Normally, I make a really yummy glaze to go with the ham; however, since someone here (cough me cough) hasn't been keeping up on the grocery shopping duties, I am out of almost everything.  And we ALL know what that means - I'm going to have to improvise. Correction - I'm going to try to have to improvise based on what's actually alive in the pantry.  Pretty sure the beets aren't gonna be included, nor are the tomatoes. This could get interesting.  I'll start praying right now.  Hopefully something will come to me.  I'm not a huge fan of ham; I don't mind it but it's never my first choice. But when I do have it, I WANT MY GLAZE.  Pardon the outburst, I think I'm starting to panic now.  Seriously, we are down to the bare bones of just about everything and this can't be good!  If I was ever creative, let it be now!  Here goes nothing!

Simmering in the glaze in the crock pot.  Yum.
I always put my ham in the oven, but this time I just felt lazy.  I didn't feel like having to clean up the mess when it was done.  So I decided to take a chance and put it in the crock pot. Never having done a ham in there before, but having done a ton of other things (my crock pot and I are besties), I figured it couldn't really hurt it, right?  We'll see. Hmmm...different glaze and crock pot cooking...will this actually work?  And if not, what the heck will we have for dinner tonight?  Even if it does work, will it be good? These are questions that need to be answered.  

After careful perusement (is that actually a word?) of the ingredients in my kitchen, I came up with what I thought would be a good glaze.  I'm still working on what to name it, because I'm pretty sure that "Ellen's Whatever is Left in the Kitchen After Not Shopping for Two Months Glaze" is going to scare most people off.  Seriously, if you found that on Google, would you try it?  Didn't think so!  Neither would I! Well, this is what I came up with and, I must say, it looked a little weird:

1-1/2 cups packed brown sugar
1/4 cup honey mustard
8 ounces Pepsi 
2 tablespoons orange marmalade

Microwave for two minutes, stirring after the first minute and at the end of cooking.  This helps to break up the mustard and the marmalade.  

Now I know that those ingredients sound a little strange in combination with each other, and they sort of looked interesting when mixed up, but I have to say it did SMELL good.  Hopefully that was a good sign.  We all know that sometimes that doesn't really mean anything.

I scored my ham, more in squares than in diamonds because that's just how untalented I am, and placed
So pretty! See the bits of orange from the marmalade?
it in my crock pot.  For some odd reason, it actually fit; I'm not sure how that happened but I wasn't going to fight it.  I then poured the heated glaze over the ham and turned the crock pot on low.  On went the lid and voila...I let it go for a while. My ham was almost six pounds, and this was quite a bit of glaze for that size; but I always like to use the leftovers for ham and bean soup, glaze and all.  It adds quite a nice extra oomph of flavor.  Mr. Scrappin just looked at me as usual.  LOL!  I think he's afraid now that he knows I sometimes (most of the time) ad lib my meals.  Poor man, all he wanted was a normal, loving wife and look what he got...BWAH HAHAHAHAHAHAH!  I say he got what he many of you have husbands that walk around KNOWING that their gym shorts are on inside out?  Yeah, I thought so.  Just me. He says that's so I can't take his wallet but I'm not buying it.  I think he's just weird.

Now I know that we're not supposed to take the cover off the crock pot when it's actually being used because we lose cooking time, but I wanted to make sure the top stayed moist and had some glaze on it besides the initial pouring on.  I didn't start basting until after the first hour and then only about every 45 minutes after that, really quickly.  My only other concern besides the possible drying out of the ham was how the glaze would really work in the crock pot.  Would it caramelize like in the oven?  I can tell you right now that the answer was no.  BUT, having said that, it still came out very pretty and with a beautiful sheen.  

Beautifully moist and tender.
The overall consensus of ham in the crock pot is this: Pretty darn good! The glaze did caramelize just a little on the ham, making it beautiful.  And once I took it out, it was so tender to cut, and juicy to look at. Hubby had three pieces, which made me feel really good.  I felt like it was a success.  The sweetness of the glaze really complimented the saltiness of the ham and had a nice, light taste.  Not over sweetened like some glazes can be. While I did not thicken my glaze at the end of the cooking time since I like to use the leftovers for soup, it would be super simple to add a little cornstarch to the crock pot to make it a little thicker for a more gravy-like texture.  

Although I was a little skeptical about putting my ham in the crock pot and would probably not do it every single time, I'm glad I tried it because it definitely works. Talk about making it easy!  So...even though I've been absent for a while due to some interesting circumstances, I'm glad I made it back today.  I've enjoyed hammin' it up with you!  


  1. I love ham anytime. I make mine in the crock pot all the time. I haven't had a ham with a marmalade glaze in years. And I've heard of using Pepsi and the like, but I have never done it. I will pin this for later, It looks and sounds wonderful.

  2. Amanda, I think you will love this! Thanks so much for stopping by; I hope you come again soon!