scrap/skrap/
noun: a small piece or amount of something, esp. one that is left over after the greater part has been used.
synonyms: noun: fragment - piece - bit - shred

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Biscuits and Gravy Can Make a Girl Crazy...

Hello, Happy Sunday and Welcome to the Farm!  Here's hoping that everyone has had a productive and fun week.  Did you get any projects done that you wanted? Go on a fabulous vacation that you've been waiting a long time for?  Just have some nice and quiet down time to relax?  Any and all things that you enjoy are productive and fun.  That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

Look at that spicy goodness our butcher comes up with!
For me, I felt like the work week was long.  Not necessarily bad, just long. I had things I wanted to do and was really looking forward to getting some of them done. Enter the "not feeling so hot" dilemma.  I had the worst headaches that led to nausea and nothing sounded good to eat.  Couldn't sleep worth a darn and just felt so run down.  I didn't even go in on Wednesday because I felt so awful.  Thankfully it did get better, but I didn't get anything accomplished.  And yes, I felt incredibly guilty. Thinking I could just take it easy this weekend and not do a lot of anything, this is what happened:

Ready to go into the oven.
Mr. Scrappin, who just went back to the night shift, and whose patience sometimes equals that of Job, politely requested biscuits and gravy this morning; i.e., "I want biscuits and gravy."  Hmmm.  I really did not feel like making that.  Or anything else, for that matter.  So he proceeded to text my daughter - here is their conversation:

Hubby:  Good morning.
Sarah:  Hi!!
Hubby:  I want breakfast.
Sarah:  Me too.
Hubby:  Tell yo moma biskets n gravey.
Sarah:  (after texting me that he wanted biscuits and gravy) She said too bad.
Hubby:  See how she is.
Sarah:  She's a meanie.
Hubby:  And she's short.

Ok, like THAT'S gonna get him breakfast!  Right...  So, after telling my hubby that he's been mean to me (via Sarah) I told him no biscuits.  And certainly no gravy.  And what do I get?  This conversation:

Sarah:  You're a snitch.
Me:  I'm not making biscuits and gravy.  He's being incredibly obnoxious.
Sarah:  He just wants his lovely wife to make him a little biscuit with gravy on it.  He wants to taste the love.
Me:  BWAH HAHAHAHAHA!  Good try.  But no.  When he hangs my basket I will make him b&g...maybe

Fresh out of the oven  - light and fluffy!
At which time I went to lay down as now THOSE TWO were giving me a major headache.  Geez!  Gang up on a girl, wouldja?  And when I got up, this is what I got:

Sarah:  Your basket is hung.  Now it's bg time.  

Will they NEVER let up? My gosh, get off me already!  But, when I looked, my basket was hung EXACTLY where I wanted it.  Now what do I do?  So, I got out the stinkin' sausage to thaw. Keeping in mind that I didn't wake up until almost noon, it was a pretty sure bet that biscuits and gravy were not being had for breakfast.  I guess that leaves dinner.  Lunch is out of the question as I JUST GOT UP, OK????  And besides, Mr. Scrappin wasn't home.  He was down at the barn. There ya go.  I'm off the hook.

Tater tots mashed up to make fake hash browns.
Hey, whatever works!
And then...dinner time (almost) rolled around. And I had to make the biscuits.  Mr. Scrappin is a big fan of going to the store and buying stuff so he told me to just go to the store and get the canned biscuits.  WHATTTTTT!!! Sorry, no can do.  I will make my biscuits, thank you very much.  And you WILL eat them. Besides, I wasn't going anywhere. I'm still (even as I write this) in my jammies. And I like my jammies a lot.  A LOT.  So I proceeded to make the biscuits.  Ooh, yum.  Now, normally, I am NOT AT ALL a fan of biscuits.  I don't like them.  They are dry, crumbly and just plain bleck. I've never liked them and no matter how much I try, I just can't.  Kinda like roast; I don't like that either.  Anyhoo, about a year ago I ran across a biscuit recipe that I thought looked ok; meaning not dryish or crumbly like a regular biscuit.  I tried it and, well, IT ROCKS.  It's the only one I use now and I actually will eat them.  In all fairness, I went to the site that I found it on so that I could link to it and it's not there anymore, so I want to give credit to the person whose recipe it is.  Her name is Ruth Ann Stelfox of Alberta.  I kid you not, these are great!  And since I don't know the actual name of the recipe, I will call it a golden biscuit recipe since that's how she described them.  Here ya go:

Ruth Ann Stelfox's Favorite Golden Biscuits

1 cup all purpose flour
1 cup whole wheat flour
4 teaspoons baking powder
1 tablespoon sugar
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup butter or margarine
1 cup milk

In a medium bowl, combine flours, baking powder, sugar and salt; mix well.  Cut in butter until mixture resembles coarse crumbs.  Stir in milk until moistened.  Turn out onto a lightly floured surface; knead gently 8 to 10 times.  Roll to 3/4-inch thickness; cut with a 2-1/2 inch biscuit cutter and place on an ungreased baking sheet.  Bake at 450 degrees F for 10 to 12 minutes or until lightly browned.  Serve warm.

See how the spices color the gravy?
As I was making the biscuits, I asked hubby what else he wanted. Eggs? To go with the breakfast theme here? Nope, he wanted hash browns. Well, guess who used the last of the potatoes last night and will not be going to the store any time soon?  Did I already mention that? Thought so.  Not. Happening.  What to do...what to do?  Mr. Scrappin really wants hash browns.  So I did what any good little wife would do - I called his mother.  She lives next door (well, a quarter mile away is next door to us out here) and I just knew she would save me.  As the phone kept ringing and the answering machine came on, I knew I was doomed.  She's not home.  Or she's down at the barn with the newest little piggies.  Crap.  And then I had a brilliant moment; a life changing idea; a desperate "hey, I hope I still have some tater tots" flash.  And I said to myself, "self, go to thine freezer."  And my self did.  AND MY SELF FOUND SOME TATER TOTS! Woot!  What am I going to do with these tater tots, you ask? Well, I'm so glad you did - I'm going to make hash  browns out of them.  Fake ones, obviously.  I put a little oil in my pan like I would for my own hash browns and I dumped those tots right in. As they started to cook a little, I mashed them down. Voila - fake hash browns! Incredibly genius; absurdly bright of me!  Then stepson popped in and said he'd done the very same thing last night.  Bubble buster! I made him go home.

Biscuits & Gravy, fake hash browns and eggs from my
friend Leslie's chickens.  Hubby is happy!
Since I was fairly certain hubby was starving, I decided to go ahead and start the sausage gravy right then.  I plopped that sausage right out of it's white butcher paper and into the pan .  Knowing how much Mr. Scrappin like the Italian sausage, that's what I pulled out this morning for him.  We raise our own pigs so we have a ton of sausage, bacon, pork chops - you get the gist here.  He likes the Italian sausage and I like the regular.  I kind of switch off so we use both up.  I will admit, though, that the Italian sausage has a wonderfully spicy flavor and is perfect for biscuits and gravy.  I don't know how everyone else does it, but I'm a fairly lazy gravy cooker when it comes to biscuits and gravy.  Since this is usually a morning or mid-morning dish, I don't want to spend all day at it.  I break up my sausage and cook it through, then after draining any grease, I add the flour directly to the sausage in the pan.  It gets mixed in really well this way and seems to absorb any little tiny bits of grease left in the pan.  After mixing that for a minute or two, I add my milk.  Usually I like to add at least a little bit of evaporated milk to the gravy before adding in regular milk, but I didn't have any today.  Have I mentioned yet that I was not going to the stinkin' store?  LOL!

So, I've got the biscuits finished, the gravy just about done, and hash browns on their way to crispiness.  And hubby decides that since we are actually having hash browns, how about those eggs?  Good grief.  Will this nightmare never end? Really? NOW you want the eggs?  Sigh...ok, he gets eggs.  And now that it's all done, he better eat it.  ALL OF IT.

6 comments:

  1. Your story is too funny! This could so happen at my house! Now for the confession...I have never made biscuits or gravy! My hubby would love me more if I did...thanks for the recipes and the story!

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  2. HAHAHAHA! Thank you Holly! I swear, the things I do just to keep the peace around here. Biscuits and gravy really is pretty easy; I just have to be in the mood. :)

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  3. Ha, ha - what a great blog you've got. Cheers for visiting mine. I'm a new follower through GFC.
    Have a nice day!

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  4. Thanks so much; I really appreciate your kind words! And thank you so much for following! :)

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  5. Good one. I've had those kind of mornings around here.

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  6. I'm pretty sure we all have, Carla! LOL! Thanks so much for coming by; please come back soon. :)

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